Lake Michigan

Here are some highlights from our Monday day trip:

1. Overlooking the lake
2. Abby walking (very proudly) part of the sand dune trail
3. Brit and I
4. Beach baby
5. Water girl (very, very cold)

Ann Arbor

Here are some highlights from our Saturday day trip:

1. Flip flops for $1 at Old Navy
2. No babies were harmed in the taking...
3. Abby's favorite display at the natural history museum was this little Native American panorama
4. A beautiful beech tree (and lovely girl and her dad) on the U. of M. campus
5. Abby has taken a special interest in holding her brother

Briton laughing

I was camera lady, the narrator and the tickler so I hope it isn't too shaky. He's a good little laugher.

Hope's website

A while back Hope's website got pegged as an "attack site." (We're out to get you!!) We were aware of it, but hadn't done anything about it. FYI - Google considers it safe again. Check it out if you like. We changed it up a bit (the look, the content is mostly the same). We promise there are no viruses. There never were. (The address is www.hopewessman.net. There is a link above.)

Abby lately

Lately Abby has really "loved" a lot of things. This morning in the car she said, "Mom, I like this new library book. I love my book." As we were driving around, she saw a mail truck. She really is pretty enamored with mail trucks. (Interesting choice, I know.) She yelled out, "I LOVE mail tractors!" (I think I'll be sad when she stops calling them mail tractors because it is pretty cute.)

She also tells me on a daily basis that she wants to go to high school. (We can see the high school out our back door.) In fact, the first thing she said to me yesterday was, "Mom, I LUB high school! I lub, lub, lub high school!" I'll usually ask her where she needs to go before she can go to high school and she'll tell me "Kin-arten", but that hasn't stopped her from really wanting to go to high school. I think that she is just excited to go to school. Hopefully, it isn't really high school she is wanting! Does she really need to grow up so fast and does she realize what she is asking for?

On that note (growing up), she is trying to pronounce her words "correctly" and I am not too excited about that. Everytime she starts saying a word the "right" way, I get a little sad because we'll never get to go back...This week she was talking about a blanket. Toddlers are supposed to say "blankie" and Abby has always called them "bankies" but this time she paused before she said the word and I could tell she was really trying to think it through before she said it. It came out "banklet". It was cute in itself, but again she's growing up!

As she always has, Abby still loves to read. She hasn't been loving her naps or bedtime as much lately so I've been letting her read in bed with a lamp on until she falls asleep (which is usually pretty quick). Yesterday during her nap, I found her asleep cuddled up to stuffed animals on the floor with her bed covered with books. (She says she likes to have "plenty" of books on hand.)

Bloggers Block

I've had some blogger's block lately, but here are a couple things I am happy to post.

I discovered garage sales this past weekend. I went with some girls from the branch to a couple subdivision wide sales. Those things are gold mines. Do they do those in Utah? I mean the subdivision ones. I know they do garage sales, but I never got into them there. It seemed to hard and hit and miss. (Bike + Exersaucer + Rocking horse + Scooter + Filing cabinet + Books, game and videos = $54)Here is a picture of us and Hope's yummy birthday cake. Abby decorated it. She was very proud, but a bit confused when I told her we were making a cake for Hope's birthday. She started asking if Hope would come eat it. We talked about it for a while and she concluded that "Hopey eat cake in heaven."Tonight we went and had a little picnic at the township cemetery (so pretty - lots of trees like the SLC cemetery) in honor of our picnic tradition for Hope's birthday. Thursday was way too windy. It was a bit chilly, but very peaceful.The other day Mike and I were downstairs in the living room while Abby was upstairs. We became intrigued when she kept enthusiatically repeating, "Bubbly, bubbly, bubbly mirror." She was having so much fun and it was pretty cute (albeit soapy and very wet).

Happy, happy birthday!

Happy 4th birthday, Hope!

Here are a few of a gillion things running through my mind:

May, 14th, 2005 was one of the best days of my life and perhaps the most spiritual. I am very grateful for the memories I have of that day.

I Wonder When He Comes Again is one of my favorite Primary songs. It was sung at her funeral. I am glad that Abby has been wanting to learn it lately.

It's hard to believe that I have a 4-year-old baby. (I think of all the little girls in the 3rd ward born within a couple months of her - Lauren, Olivia, Annie, Anna - and look at the girls in our branch her age - Abby F. and Miriam - and can sort of envision what she'd be doing as a big girl 4-year-old.) She'd be a Sunbeam!

It also seems like it all happened so long ago. Life has changed a lot since then.

As much as I would like Hope here with us, I would never trade in the experiences we passed through if given the option. I am grateful for what I learned and the ways I grew (and continue to grow). As crummy and tough as it was, the experience as a whole was a blessing.

I wish I knew Hope better. Sometimes I feel like I have little glimpses into her personality. Someday...

I wonder what she'd look like. What color would her hair be? She had all the dark hair when she was born and so did Abby, but Abby's has lightened up a lot. Would hers have too?

Thanks to all of you who remember her, who refer to her and who ask about her. It makes me feel good. Sometimes I don't feel like her mom because I'm not doing the day to day motherly stuff for her, but those things remind me that she is mine!

Here is one of my favorite Hope scriptures. "If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable (1 Corinthians 15:19)." I like to read it like this: "If in this life only we have [Hope Elisabeth], we are of all [families] most miserable." Fortunately, through the blessing of the gospel brought about by Jesus Christ, we don't have to be miserable because she is ours long beyond this life!

What

This is what I see running across my back fence all the time.

This is what my baby looks like in the morning.

This is what my baby looks like in the Bumbo. (He likes to look around but I haven't gotten the smiles out of him in it.)

This is what Mike made us for Mother's Day breakfast (and this is what our hair looks like fresh out of the shower). Mmmm--fruit pizza!

Moms

Happy Mother's Day!

Mike and I are surrounded by many fabulous women. I have learned from our mothers, grandmothers, sisters and others and consider myself lucky to have all of them in my life. (Thanks mom, Kaye, Leola, Marva, Ellen, Mary, Beverly, Nancy, Tami, Steph, Kaley, Katie, Bekah and Lara.)

I am especially grateful (1,606 miles away) to my mom for the mother and the friend she is to me. I can always count on her to be (or at least act) interested in the little things we have going on in our lives. She is my best advice giver and I am grateful that we talk and share with each other. Thank goodness for free long distance.

I love this picture of my mom and Briton. I think it has already made it onto the blog, but it is worth a repeat.

The 3 top reasons to love Mother's Day

(And this one is 4th, albeit distant. I am having a hard time knowing it is in my fridge and that I have to wait until tomorrow.)

Stake Conference

Stake conference was nice. Here are a few random thoughts:

• How does it happen that a Utah girl (the Facebook quiz I took told me I was 75-100% Utahn) walk into a stake conference session and think Wow, look at all the Mormons? I guess I have gotten accustomed (very quickly) to my cozy little branch. Stake conference seemed really big.
• We had a broadcast from Salt Lake. The Stake Presidency didn't know who'd be speaking. (Hence, neither did we.) This morning at breakfast we told Abby that at church today we'd watch a movie with one of the apostles. While she looked at her chart she's been practicing, I said, "Maybe it'll be President Packer or Elder Perry or Elder...." She decided it was Elder Perry. I said, "Maybe. Or maybe it'll be Elder...." "No," she told us, "Elder Perry." On the way to the stake center, the same. To be honest, Mike and I weren't too surprised when the broadcast started and who was sitting on the podium? Yep, Elder Perry. President Monson also spoke!
• During the first speaker Abby, who was sitting on the other side of Mike, started talking in a non-whisper voice. Not having heard what she said (but I did hear that the speaker was defining hearken - to listen and obey) I did the obligatory, "Shhh, Abby." Mike smiled and whispered to me, "I have a hard time shhh-ing her when she's saying that he is talking about obeying." Yeah, we can give her a pass on that one.

Great weekend and great meetings. I am grateful for the parts that were especially for me!

Some Books

So, I have only read 4 books during 2009. (I've started a few more, but not finished for lack of interest or time.) I kind of stopped reading last fall when our lives got a bit complicated, but I am getting back into it. I am finding that I have less and less time to read with the 2 kids, but enjoying it nonetheless. Here they are:

The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch - This is a very quick and motivational read. I enjoyed it and took away a few snippets of wisdom.








The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows - I loved this book. It shared a very interesting aspect of World War II (the German occupation of Guernsey) that I knew nothing about previously. The characters were excellently developed.






A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith - I've wanted to read this for a while since a few of my GoodReads friends have recommended it. I got the tapes from the library and it took me a while to listen to it. (I'm not in the car as much as I thought I was and Abby is to the age that she likes to have a say in what we listen to. Also, I don't consider the book inappropriate, but there are discussions and words that I don't think a 2-year-old needs to hear.) But I liked it. The story reveals a world that I don't really know. It was definitely worth the time.




Complications by Atul Gawande - This was last month's Relief Society book club book, but I didn't get my copy from the inter-library loan system in time, but I still read it and just finished moments ago. It was fascinating! It is a collection of essays on different aspects of the medical field that prove we don't have all the answers. It isn't a doctor-bashing book by any means. (Dr. Gawande is a doctor.) It is also a reminder though that the medical knowledge we have (although incomplete in many arenas) is nothing short of miraculous.




PS In my last post I listed some good things about Thursday. Here is one I forgot to list. I found my Greatest Hits Carpenters CD that had been lost for years. (It was actually Abby who found it in another seldom used CD case.) It might be outdated music, but I love it!

Today

The past 36ish hours I've been sick. Bleh! A couple in our branch told me a few weeks ago that all those folks from out west get sick when they first move here. New set of flu bugs and lots of humidity to keep those bugs alive. Our family could add weight to that theory.

Having said that, there were some good pluses today:

• I found out my new washer and dryer arrive tomorrow. (We weren't expecting them for a week so Mike hurried and posted the old ones on craigslist and they were sold almost immediately.)
• Abby has developed an interest in the apostles. She has the First Presidency mastered so she has been asking me to practice Quorum of the 12 with her using a centerfold from a recent Church News. 12 is a lot more than 3 so we're still working on it, but she is getting Elders Hales and Bednar consistently. She says, "Elder Bednaro." I try to tell her that it is Bednar, but she keeps saying Bednaro. It sounds pretty cute and we don't do it disrespectfully:)
• We got babysitters for both nights this weekend! Friday=date, Saturday=Stake Conference.
• We got to spend lunch with Mike. We weren't doing anything too interesting - registering our car and getting new drivers' licenses (we must be very official now) - but it was nice to hang out together.
  

Brian

Here are a couple limericks that I spent about 1.5 minutes writing in honor of my brother's trip to visit us following the Boston marathon this week. Way to go on reaching your goal, Bri! We must have been worth the $50 more in plane fares that it took to add a 48 hour "layover" here to his trip back to Salt Lake. We really appreciate him coming out to see us!

My young brother's name is Brian.
He came here and I'm not lyin'
He went on a long run
Then we had lots of fun
Now without him Abby's cryin'.

The Boston marathon's all done.
The midwest has even got sun!
So Brian said, "Maybe
I'll go see the baby!
'Cuz the Wessman's are really fun!"

We loved having him here and Abby mauled him the entire time.

We visited the Meijer Gardens and Sculpture Park in Grand Rapids (very cool):
Can you find Abby in this picture?Abby knows that engineers need to be reminded of the benefits of good literature...
We took Brian to Bravo! and the MSU Dairy Store (i.e. Creamery) - both yummy.

Today we went to a very fun playground on the way back to the airport.
This merry-go-round was pretty speedy. I was a bit nervous a couple times, but she loved it.
This was Briton's first slide ride. (He was embarrassed though to be wearing a girls' hat!)
Thanks again, Brian! It was lots of fun! (We hope you thought so, too.)

Take a look - It is for a good cause!

Where to start?

On an unsuspecting Sunday in January 2005, my bishop gave me a calling that really surprised me - Ward Choir Director. OK, so I can read music and kind of carry a tune, but I didn't see this one coming!

The next day we found out about Hope's problems. I was about 20 weeks pregnant at the time.

In the neighboring ward, so I am told, Carolyn Kasteler was also called to be a choir director around that time. My Relief Society President gave me her phone number and insisted that I call her so that we could coordinate/commiserate. I believe there might have been ulterior motives on the part of RS President LouAnn! You see, Carolyn is an RN who operates the Angel Watch program. This program helps families whose unborn children have problems that will likely take their lives either before or shortly after birth. Carolyn offered some much needed comfort and a perspective that no one else was able to offer at the time. (By the way, I am pretty sure that a big reason for the calling was to meet Carolyn. Another calling necessitated a release just 3 months after Hope was born.)

Now, skip forward 4 years.

Last Sunday, Mike and I were driving home from Easter dinner and started talking about what we could do to celebrate Hope's 4th birthday this year. (I can't believe she is almost 4!) We threw out a few ideas. On Tuesday this email showed up from Carolyn Kasteler (see flyer at the bottom of the post). To us it is significant that this race is being held only 2 days after Hope's birthday. (Maybe we can go on a 5K run/walk out here:)

Dear Friends,

As many of you know, I have been directing a program called Angel Watch for the last several years. It is a program that gives emotional and social support to families when the parents learn that they are pregnant with an infant that has a potentially lethal diagnosis and is not expected to live much past birth - if at all. It is currently funded almost entirely by donations through the McKay-Dee Hospital Foundation. At present, it is at risk for funding next year. Therefore, the reason for this email message.

There is a wonderful way you can help, if you would like. Pam Hansen, who is the author of a book, Running With Angels is co-sponsoring a 5K Run/Walk on May 16, 2009 along with the help of Intermountain-Utah Valley Regional Medical Center. It is at 8:00 AM at Thanksgiving Point, in Lehi. This year, she has designated that ALL of the proceeds of the race are to go to Angel Watch to support our program in the Utah South area, with any special donations going to our statewide program! We appreciate her kind generosity!

As the statewide Angel Watch program is in danger of going away because of lack of funds, I would like to encourage you and your families and friends to register for this walk/run and participate on May 16th as you can, so that future potential Angel Watch families can receive support as they have in the past.

The link to the race/walk information and the registration form is attached! Thanks for your support and...See you at the race!

Carolyn Kasteler, RN

Director of Angel Watch

PS - For those of you who are not able to attend the race but would like to make a donation to Angel Watch, please go to www.mckay-deefoundation.org to make an on-line donation? Just go to "Ways to Give" and click on it and then on the button for "on-line donations" and then designate Angel Watch as the recipient. Thanks in advance for any support you can give us!!

Mike and I really believe in this program and have been able to participate in a small way since Hope's death. If we were in Utah, we would certainly be participating on May 16th.

We'd like to invite any of our Utah friends and family who are interested to participate. It is a great cause.

To our friends and family outside of Utah - We invite you to donate to the McKay-Dee Foundation or the next time you are looking for a worthy charity to donate to, consider contacting your local hospital about their infant bereavement programs. There really is a need.

Poor Baby, Part 2

Abby went back to the hospital on Friday. That was no fun. In a nutshell:

• The pediatrician who did her follow up visit (and who had never seen her before) said that she was dehydrated again and all but insisted that she go back.
• Mike and I questioned it because we could see a huge difference between how she was then and how she had been on Tuesday.
• I took her in after debating for a while and then watching her throw up again. (It's pretty tricky to get a sick toddler and an infant--who you don't want to touch anything or anyone or any-germ--into a hospital and admitted with a single stroller. So Friday evening I went out and bought a double stroller. Love it.)
• The hospital doctors (who had seen her Tuesday and Wednesday) pretty much concurred with us that she wasn't nearly as bad as before (but still somewhat dehydrated), but she was already admitted so they kept her and did all the tests and stuff. Poor thing. Like a friend said, "Once they get in there, it is pretty hard to get them out!"
• She came home Saturday afternoon.

I am so grateful to Mike for all he has done through this. He took time off work, spend two nights at the hospital and spent most of the days there as well. He just keeps saying that there wasn't a choice. (We wanted to keep Briton away as much as possible.) I suppose he is right. There wasn't much of a choice, but he did have a choice in how he dealt with it. He didn't complain. He has a ton going on at work right now and was able to drop it and come to the hospital as he was needed. He is so wonderful with Abby. (She adores him.) He dealt with lots of yucky messes. I appreciate him so much.

Poor Baby

Monday Abby was fine.

Tuesday she threw up all day.

Tuesday night marked Abby's second visit to the ER. (The first involved the possible ingestion of a Christmas tree ornament that made for a better story, but this is all I put on the blog.) She was really dehydrated. It is crazy how fast their little bodies can do that.

Luckily, she also got rehydrated pretty fast, but then they admitted her to make sure that her labs improved.

Mike stayed with her the whole time except for a few hours yesterday morning when he went to work and Briton and I were with her. (I hated to have Briton in the hospital too much.)

It's got to be pretty scary for a 2-year-old. Funny bed. People doing strange things to her. Tubes coming out of her arms. Not feeling well. She did pretty well with letting the nurses take her vitals at first. Then they took some blood and put in a catheter for a bit yesterday. After that nurses were the bad guys.

Luckily, all the lab results came back good and we all got home at around 10 pm last night (22+ long hours, but counting our blessings it wasn't worse).

Here are some lessons I learned:

As previously mentioned, it doesn't take long for a little person to get dehydrated. 11 hours is a long time to go without a wet diaper.

We were in a shared room. Our roommate was a little tiny one (not more than 3 or 4 months, probably). Her mom was with her and I ended up learning quite a bit about her dad. (Maybe in the process I learned a lot about her mom, too.) Mom sat on her cell for a couple hours and told multiple people all sorts of cruddy stuff about her estranged husband. It was really sad. I was reminded of a quote that Cheree L. referred to in Relief Society a while back. It is from Sister Marjorie Hinckley and I think about it a lot in terms of not talking negatively about spouses.

• "I think any marriage, to be successful, you have to be fiercely loyal to each other. Fiercely loyal, and I think that's happened with us."

Finally, this morning Abby and I were playing like usual. It made me realize how much I missed the real Abby the past two days. It was as if I had forgotten how she really looks, talks and acts. I love having the real Abby back!

We love new nieces (and nephews, too)

But this time it is a niece.We can't wait to meet you, lovely Natalie.

She looks just like her mom. You did well, Lara and Nate.