Thursday, May 14, 2009

Happy, happy birthday!


Happy 4th birthday, Hope!

Here are a few of a gillion things running through my mind:

May, 14th, 2005 was one of the best days of my life and perhaps the most spiritual. I am very grateful for the memories I have of that day.

I Wonder When He Comes Again is one of my favorite Primary songs. It was sung at her funeral. I am glad that Abby has been wanting to learn it lately.

It's hard to believe that I have a 4-year-old baby. (I think of all the little girls in the 3rd ward born within a couple months of her - Lauren, Olivia, Annie, Anna - and look at the girls in our branch her age - Abby F. and Miriam - and can sort of envision what she'd be doing as a big girl 4-year-old.) She'd be a Sunbeam!

It also seems like it all happened so long ago. Life has changed a lot since then.

As much as I would like Hope here with us, I would never trade in the experiences we passed through if given the option. I am grateful for what I learned and the ways I grew (and continue to grow). As crummy and tough as it was, the experience as a whole was a blessing.

I wish I knew Hope better. Sometimes I feel like I have little glimpses into her personality. Someday...

I wonder what she'd look like. What color would her hair be? She had all the dark hair when she was born and so did Abby, but Abby's has lightened up a lot. Would hers have too?

Thanks to all of you who remember her, who refer to her and who ask about her. It makes me feel good. Sometimes I don't feel like her mom because I'm not doing the day to day motherly stuff for her, but those things remind me that she is mine!

Here is one of my favorite Hope scriptures. "If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable (1 Corinthians 15:19)." I like to read it like this: "If in this life only we have [Hope Elisabeth], we are of all [families] most miserable." Fortunately, through the blessing of the gospel brought about by Jesus Christ, we don't have to be miserable because she is ours long beyond this life!

11 comments:

The Brown Family said...

Marinda-

You have a beautiful way of expressing your feelings. I love that about you.

Tresa

Stephanie said...

Happy Birthday Hope! Marinda, you and your husband are amazing. You are so inspiring to me, and possess all the faith I hope to have someday. Thank you for talking to me about Hope the other day. It helped me to feel like I knew her, and you, a little better!

M. Nelson said...

What a beautiful birthday tribute. I'm so touched.

Your insights on the scripture in 1 Cor. is inspiring. Thank you.

Happy Birthday, Hope!

Angie said...

Happy Birthday Hope! I have known for some time how amazing your mother is, but these wonderful words just reaffirms everything I know and love about her and your dad. I love you Marinda and Mike!

Shana said...

Wow, 4 years! I can only imagine what wonderful work she is doing where she is today. I will never forget the strength you had and what an absolutely wonderful tribute you and Mike gave her at her funeral. You are incredible Marinda.... always have been. What lucky little ones you have and what a wonderful time for you to enjoy and get to know Hope in the next life. Happy Birthday sweet angel!!!

Kristi said...

Happy Birthday! She is just a little younger than Anwyn. Someday it will be nice for the second cousins to get to know each other! I like the application of the Corinthians scripture.

Nurse Heidi said...

Happy Angel Day, Hope! That photo of Abby hugging her headstone is absolutely precious. I love it.

Stephanie said...

Thanks for sharing Marinda. You guys are amazing. Happy birthday Hope!

rusted sun said...

Thank you so much for sharing. Happy birthday Hope and happy birth day to you to Marinda. You have been a mother for 4 years now!

Holli said...

Sorry for the belated birthday wishes. I'm so glad that I got to watch how amazingly well you both dealt with Hope's diagnosis, birth and death. Her funeral was one of the most spiritual I have ever attended and I remember often the visit we had in your kitchen after you got out of the hospital. I was privileged to be there.

Nancy said...

Happy Birthday, Hope. My brother and his wife recently lost their baby too. When I talk to my brother I often think of Hope and have shared your experience with him. Thanks for the faith and strength you show.