3 months

It has been three months since I have updated the blog.  We've had a lot happen in that time.  I will try to update...

Milli

On December 14, 2012 our 5th child, Amelia Grace, was born.  We learned in August of last year that Milli had Trisomy 18, the same condition that our first child, Hope Elisabeth, had.  We knew our time with her would be short but we hoped for time to spend with her and our 3 other children.  Unfortunately, Milli was stillborn.  We knew that was always a strong possibility, but we certainly hoped otherwise.  Her birth was a special experience and we felt her sweet spirit strongly.  I felt more peace that night than I had (or have) in a long time.  We continue to learn from our experience with Milli and we continue to grow.  We are still recovering and are grateful for that process.  She is a beautiful baby and we miss her.

Milli's Funeral

We flew to Utah 4 days after Milli's birth for her funeral and burial.  The mortuary in Michigan arranged for her travel and then the mortuary in Utah took over.  We are very grateful to Jenkins-Soffe for the way that they have taken care of both of our girls.  We were pleased that a former ward friend was our funeral director. It made the experience all the more personal for us.

The day after we arrived we went up to the cemetery to sign some paper work.  We took a picture of Hope's headstone knowing that she would soon be joined by her younger sister.  (Of course, we knew that at that point they were already together.)

The viewing was very nice and we felt a lot of support from friends and family.  It was good to see Milli and to have more time with her.  We actually spent a lot of time holding her (which we didn't do with Hope).  It might sound strange, but I am really glad that we did.  Each of the kids also held her.  They hadn't in the hospital so I am glad that they did then.  Their cousins wanted to hold her and once our kids saw the pictures of them holding Milli, they decided to.  

Mike's dad, Mike and I all spoke at the graveside service.  My dad conducted the meeting.  The kids were a bit rambunctious but Uncle Kelly (who is oftentimes the ringleader) did a good job at reigning them in.

After the service the kids played around the cemetery a bit.  Abby found some silk flowers (I decided not to ask her where she found them) and decorated Milli's casket with them.  The kids were interested in seeing the hole she'd be buried in so the funeral directors removed the board and showed them the hole.  Mike and the big kids ended up climbing down into the hole to place the casket (with the silk flowers lovingly arranged on top).

It was a long day.  We had a lunch at the church after the services.  Later that night we went to Temple Square to see the lights.  I was excited to show the lights to my kids being that Temple Square is such a Utah Christmas tradition.  I was surprised how emotionally drained I was by that point (surprise, surprise) but I am glad that the kids had a nice time with some of our extended family and that I got to see some of my favorite trees on Temple Square!